


3 AM

by vampgirltish



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: ((bc the inspo came from a song by them), Angst, F/M, Tabitha's Secret, broken relationships, idk this is just really sad and i'm super emo right now so that's why its so sad, sad??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4968061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampgirltish/pseuds/vampgirltish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She only sleeps when it's raining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	3 AM

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to extra super suffer, listen to this song too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQeOBKtEaL4

He took a couple steps towards the door, taking his keys from the rack, when he heard her voice through the house. “Danny, don’t forget your coat. It’s cold.” It was 74 degrees outside and sunny in L.A., and he mentioned this. But he could practically hear the shrug of her shoulders as she continued, “It could get cold.” She always told him to bring his coat, bring an umbrella, bring twenty dollars, just in case. He has a bottle of Tylenol in his car under her ‘just in case’ orders, though the safety seal hasn’t even been broken on it.

Even as he was stepping out, he knew it was hot, especially in his jeans and dark t-shirt, but he held his brown jacket tucked under his arm as he slid into the car. She didn’t have work today, so she was staying home.

As he drove, he thought.

He’d heard the conversations she’d had with Suzy, with Arin, with Barry. The ones of his friends she was close enough to. He heard her mentioning that she had fears. She said she felt it was going to end, them together, and that it was probably going to be her fault. She couldn’t stop herself from saying it, he knew. He watched the fear hit her eyes and Arin pulling her close to his chest, mumbling, “(y/n), it’s okay.”

He remembered her pleading to no one into his chest, saying that she wished she was better, wished she knew how to make things better between them.

He remembered Arin insisting, “He loves you, (y/n), he does. He’s not going to leave.”

He remembered her starting to sob into Arin’s tank top, staining the Kirby printed on it with her tears as she began listing all these reasons why their relationship wouldn’t work, why he didn’t want her anymore. He felt a pang in his chest. None of those things were true, but they were true to her.

~*~

He came home late that night, past midnight, throwing his jacket on the back of the couch and knowing she’d reprimand him in the morning. He listened, and heard no sounds. The skies outside hadn’t produced rain that night, and he sighed. He trudged to their room, seeing her laying on her side towards the wall, the opposite direction from him.

And she screamed. Loud, bone-chilling, blood-curdling, scream.

And he runs to her side, “Baby, are you okay?”

And she’s crying hard, and he knows that she didn’t sleep. The rain hadn’t come to soothe her when he wasn’t there to do it himself. He asks again. She keeps crying.

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” he said, voice soft.

Her words were stilted, stuttered, forced. She glanced at the clock before answering, red numbers glowing faintly in the darkness of the room. “It’s 3 AM. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, (y/n).”

“I can’t help it.”

“What, baby?”

She shakes out another breath. “I can’t help being scared of it all.”

“I know,” he says, and he does. She’s told him so many of her fears, the fears he wants to keep away from her.

“The rain’s gonna wash it away, I think.”

“What?”

“The rain,” was all she said, before rolling back over and falling back asleep almost instantly.

~*~

He woke up next to her, and she was still rolled over, eyes closed and asleep. He gets up, tapping off his alarm. He’d woken up five minutes early. He passed the morning in near silence, only talking when he called Arin on the phone and when he stubbed his toe on the coffee table and let out a swear.

She wakes up and pads to the kitchen, only addressing him with a, “G’mornin’, Danny.”

He didn’t know why she’d taken to calling him by his name now. She took some toast from the toaster a few minutes later, walking into the living room and flopping onto the couch. She looked and saw his coat, mumbling, “Coat’s go--”

“On the coat rack,” he finishes. “I know. It was late and I missed you.” This was true.

She looks at him, and speaks irrelevantly, her voice quiet and soft, “We can’t ever have it all, can we?”

“No,” he says, agreeing. “It’s not possible.” He paused to try a joke before she continued, “We don’t have a house big enough for everything, baby.”

She doesn’t smile, and it left a twinge of guilt in his gut. “Maybe in a different world.”

“What?”

“Maybe in a different world I’d--” she stopped, changing her thought. “We’d have everything.”

He shrugged. That was possible. Most things were, especially to her.

“Sometimes I feel like we’re past the point of the honeymoon phase, Danny.”

He bites his lip in nerves, “Yeah. We passed that a few months ago, baby.”

“I don’t think we have the same feelings.”

“Why do you say that?” he says, swallowing the fear that was growing within his throat as the bile tickled the top of his stomach.

“I don’t think you love me anymore, Danny.”

“You know that isn’t true,” he says instantly. She had to know that, didn’t she?

“I miss you,” she says, irrelevant again.

“Baby,” he starts tentatively. “What’s going through your head?”

She was always irrelevant when her head was running laps.

“You’re upset with me,” she states, ignoring his question and only hearing his tone.

“I’m not. I want to know what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t know,” she says, her avoidance to answer that question always coming up.

He knew that she knew, knew that she could tell him, but knew she wouldn’t. He’d known her for five months long enough to know that.

~*~

She always compared pasts. When they had first started dating, she asked him for his oldest memory. Then, she told him hers, and compared them. She talked about how their parents, their places of birth, their ages, everything influenced their pasts. She was fascinated with the past, fascinated with holding onto it. She grasped at the past but couldn’t seek the future. It dissipated like sand falling through her tiny, cold hands.

And he knew that their relationship had been stuck like this for a few weeks now. She was focused on a relationship he didn’t know how to give to her. He loved her so much, but she didn’t see that. She focused so much on the surroundings, making her world the best it can be, focusing on the little ‘welcome’ mat she bought from Ikea, the tiny and useless blue vases used as space-occupiers in their barren bookshelf, the bowl full of tiny rounded glass rocks colored blue and green in the center of the coffee table, just to take up space, the stacked books that were specifically labeled as coffee table books just to make the room feel more lived in.

It had been pouring down rain, which gave him the chance to sit downstairs in the living room and watch a bit of a movie he’d started. She slept soundly. It was nice to just let her sleep for awhile. She hadn’t slept for days. He tried to help her sleep, asked her what was wrong and what he could do, but she just sat straight up, staring directly in front of her at the frame of pressed leaves they’d made in an album in the second month of their relationship. She didn’t move from that spot until after he’d left for work. As the movie hit a very quiet moment, Dan strained to hear the words spoken by the characters, but he couldn’t hear it over the silence in the house. It had been so long without hearing her scream in the wee hours of dawn. In the tenseness of the silence, he noticed.

It had stopped raining.

And he heard a scream again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by 2 things:  
> 1) 3 am by tabitha's secret  
> 2) me being really sad
> 
> :)


End file.
